The door swings open and my mom’s standing there. She’s got a smile on her lips that looks like it’s just found its continued existence is maintained only by the shaky grip of an iron-shod will. She hugs me tight, and a moment later dad. Vague smile = win… At least nowadays. It’s only a couple minutes and then I’m inside. Mom’s in the kitchen getting a drink, and dad’s across the couch from me.

“Fine I suppose.” His smile is gone. How’s school going with you kiddo? Made any new friends?” Mom comes back in. She’s got a soda for me and a set of beers for her and dad. She hands dad on before taking a drink from hers. “We’re talking about Evy’s social life already? How about it?” They’re sort of putting me on the spot. Lily’s really my only friend, but she’s exactly the kind of friend they wouldn’t want me to have. What did dad say as a kid, bad influences?

I talk for a while, though they’ve got quizzical looks. After I mention that she went to my high school, mom speaks up. She remembers me mentioning Lily in passing, but she never saw the girl. Dad doesn’t remember her at all. It’s funny the things that slip through the cracks. Anyway, they take my escapades better than expected. I think they’re just happy that I’m not holed up in my dorm.

Dad’s the one to speak. “Well, she didn’t come over for how many years, why start now?” This seems to horrify mom, who nudges him in the ribs, but he just shrugs.

“She’s super keen on meeting you though.” I keep talking about our plans, etc., and I probably oversell things a bit. Mom pipes up to ask if Adam’s jealous, and that kind of trips me up a bit… Mom was terrified I was a lesbian until I got with Adam, and, well... She’s been terrified that we’d break up ever since...

Mom asks why, and I explain that Adam drove up the other weekend to see me, and we’d all had coffee. The entire story’s a fabrication, but it should do the trick. Lily and I had actually been hiking that weekend, but there’s no reason for them to⸺

“Two weeks ago?” He pauses… His hand is trembling. “I thought that was when you had that exam. The one you missed your grandfather’s funeral for.”

I start talking, but his eyes glaze over. Then, he suddenly interrupts me.”What the fuck?” … Dad never curses. He slowly stands before starting to yell. “How dare you lie to me? How dare you disrespect me like this, and more importantly how dare you disrespect your grandfather!” His voice raises as he looms, continuing to spew a tirade of accusations… I can’t help but shrink down, and down, and down... “How dare you come into my house and tell me about your fun merrimaking over what amounts to your grandfather’s grave! Not only that, you lied to me with a straight face about missing my own father’s funeral! You know, he cared about you, and sometimes, I don’t even know why.”

“Yeah?” I stand up tall, looming as much as I can. “Well maybe I didn’t give a shit because he was an old racist asshole! He was a misogynistic pig who emotionally abused everyone around him, and you didn’t give a fuck because he was your pops. Well guess what, the rest of fus fucking noticed! The rest of us gave a fuck, and you know what, we hated him, because he was awful. He was a terrible human!.” Mom’s crying… I need to stop… After a long moment of silence, dad speaks. “Go to your room. Now.”

I give him the finger and run. Tears are streaming down my face as I slam my gar into reverse, shooting into the street. Mom runs out into the driveway and screams my name, but I’m already slamming the car into gear. I drive, and I keep driving… My hands eventually start feeling numb from how tightly I’m gripping the wheel, but I don’t stop for a long time. When I finally do, my breath is level.